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The Bride's Guide Blog

Insider Wedding Planning: On Save-the-Dates & Saying No to Loved Ones

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So, in my last blog entry, I alluded to the fact that, when asked, most couples will say, I want an extremely intimate wedding with only my close friends and family. The reality is once you tell your close aunt you are getting married, she will spread the news quickly. And then she will say things like, How can you not invite your cousin? You know she is single, getting older, and your wedding could be her last chance at happiness! Meanwhile, that cousin is still writing her high school graduation gift thank-you notes.

I think it is really important to be able to say no even to those you love. This is your day and you should decide who you want to attend. My partner started to add to our list with justifications like, “but Jeff in accounting is always so helpful.” When we look back at our wedding photos in 20 years, will we even remember who he was? You really needed to take a hard look at those guests you honestly love and also those who can stand the test of time.

The guest list process is never easy. (We tackle some tough guest Qs over here.) It can cause problems between the grooms, the bride and the groom, and especially the groom/bride and respective families. Remember as you're going through the process, there are much more fun things to come—things that don’t involve spreadsheets.

One of those fun things is the design of the save-the-date. I just got off the phone with our designer, Cheree Berry, and am so excited to see the first draft. I am lucky to have known Cheree for years and she really knows the kinds of things that get me excited about stationery. In a profession where I think I have seen everything, Cheree still manages to surprise me. Be sure to read her expert advice on stationery, and take a look at her wedding—one of my favorites!

The more time you can spend with your designer and have him/her get to know you, the better. It may seem like a small thing, but the save-the-date is the first window into your event. While it can be more casual than your invitation, you really set the overall theme with it. Share your wedding ideas with your designer and maybe a Pinterest or inspiration board. A good designer will be able to work with your ideas and really wow you and your guests.

I can’t wait to see what Cheree comes up with!

Next on my list: Time to start that wedding beauty regiment, a.k.a. what do you mean I only have eight months to drop 20 pounds?!

Comments (3)

  • So true.

  • I totally agree, it is indeed the bride's special day and she has the right to decide who to invite and who not to invite. I believe the more intimate the wedding is, the better. Great post by the way.

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