That is the question. I have a slight predicament, and I need your help. I've got a friend's wedding coming up, and I really, really really want to wear this awesome white dress I bought on a whim. (The lesson here is don't buy a white dress on a whim if you don't have anywhere to wear it, because then you'll be stuck in the same boat as me: dying to show it off with no formal occasions in your future besides weddings). So, tell me. How bad would it be? Everyone will point and hiss at me bad? Or the bride's grandmother might glare at me bad? Be honest--what would you do?
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From: Rebecca | 8/10/11 at 2:36 pm
You CAN NOT wear it
Sorry -- I'm a wedding planner and every time I'm at a wedding and someone is wearing a white dress, I give them the evil eye, because it's just RUDE! Plus it's summer -- you can totally just wear it out! Or to work! Or to take naps in 
Just not at a wedding.
From: Nina | 8/10/11 at 2:39 pm
You can't wear it! Save it for another occasion. I also think it's impolite - how would YOU feel is somebody turned up at your wedding wearing white? It's a big no-no for me... Sorry!
From: Jenny | 8/10/11 at 2:42 pm
Can't wear it. Sorry.
It was a rule when I was 13 and I'm pretty sure it's still a rule now.
But you should totally wear it to brunch, or on a casual Friday or something!
From: Sara | 8/10/11 at 2:45 pm
Don't do it. I wore a blue, green, and white striped dress to a wedding and got a nastygram from the bride.
From: Jenn | 8/10/11 at 2:45 pm
No. Absolutely not, if you want the bride to continue to be your friend. That's just plain rude.
From: Cara | 8/10/11 at 2:57 pm
What is a nastygram!
From: Courtney Harrington | 8/10/11 at 3:10 pm
Think of it this way. She has an adorable white dress that she is DYING to wear too. And she probably got it way before you. So she gets to wear it and you have to find something else
From: Cara | 8/10/11 at 3:28 pm
Big sigh. Deep down, I know you're all right. The funny thing is, modern etiquette says it's perfect fine to wear white to a wedding (as long as the dress doesn't look bridal). But still, I know I'd feel funny about doing it...
From: natalie | 8/10/11 at 3:38 pm
ABSOLUTELY NOT! I saw photos from a wedding where a guest wore white and it looked horrible in pictures especially when the bride changed into a short white reception dress.
From: DessertDarling | 8/10/11 at 3:43 pm
You can't wear White to a wedding!!! Ohmygosh, I was JUST Going to FB that today randomly. I think it's disrespectful to the bride, tacky, and upsetting. Sorry, I know that wasn't the answer that you were hoping for, but I'm sure you'll have other great summer occasions for your white dress
From: Shudda | 8/10/11 at 3:45 pm
Its just like a black and white ball where EVERYONE wears black and/or white. If anyone showed up in a colour they would stick out and take the attention. A wedding in my opinion is the same - but the opposite
Let her have her day, modern etiquette or not - everyone knows the BRIDE wears white.
From: Susanna @ K.i.s.s Wedding | 8/10/11 at 3:50 pm
If you're asking, you know it's not cool...
From: Linda | 8/10/11 at 3:56 pm
I on the other hand would say if it's ok you maybe put a colored sash or paired a colored cardigan with it. I'm a soon to be bride and would not look down upon you. I would sooner take a picture with you than send you the evil eye. Maybe I'm weird or maybe I'm the kind of friend who would be happy that everyone gets to wear what they want to a wedding, not just me.
From: Andrea | 8/10/11 at 4:16 pm
Why are you even asking this question? You know the answer: ABSOLUTELY NOT. You can find some other occasion to wear that dress...you will upset the bride, I can guarantee it (unless she's the type of bride who has decided to wear a black dress on her wedding day, and if that were the case, I would imagine that you would have included that information here). Ask yourself: what would YOU want YOUR wedding guests to do? It is a rule of thumb that you should respect. It is her day, not yours - don't try to upstage the bride.
From: Cara | 8/10/11 at 4:30 pm
Strangely, though, the answer isn't absolutely not! Can you believe that it's perfectly acceptable, etiquette-wise, to wear white to a wedding? That said, I'm not going to do it...
From: Cindy | 8/10/11 at 6:42 pm
Cara - you should do what you feel is right...period.
From: Elizabeth | 8/10/11 at 7:45 pm
The question is... Is the Bride wearing white? As a wedding planner I have seen more and more Brides not wearing white...if the Bride is in white then no don't wear it... if she is in a diffrent color go for it!!!
From: Sarah | 8/10/11 at 7:55 pm
Use the 'modern etiquette says it's okay to wear white to a wedding' loophole if you like, but if it means you'll spend the whole wedding worrying about whether it was a mistake, it's probably not worth it.
From: gingersnap | 8/11/11 at 2:29 pm
why not just ask the bride?. it all depends on the formality of the occasion/your relationship with the bride. if you show up in a superfancy white dress toa casual outdoor wedding of someone you barely know..yes people might think you're upstaging. but if the dress suits the occasion and you know the bride wouldnt take offence... why not?!
From: Ceej | 8/11/11 at 2:31 pm
I wouldn't do it. I don't even like it when non-brides wear white to wedding-related parties (engagement, shower, etc.). Maybe you could dye it another color?
From: Liz Middleton | 8/11/11 at 11:08 pm
I am a wedding planner too, and if this came up to me as a problem that I would have to fix, I would suggest the following. Simply ask the bride. Show her the dress and ask her to be honest about how she feels with you wearing it. It will show to her and anyone else that you put her feelings first. and if she says no, then don't wear it simple as that. To me that is better etiquette than just showing up in the dress and the only feelings you have worried about were your own.
From: Koren Harvey Civil Celebrant | 8/12/11 at 11:05 pm
It's interesting to see how strongly people feel about wearing white. I see plenty of guests wearing white/cream/pale lemon dresses at summer weddings and it doesn't seem to bother anyone, usually because they're short and not in the least bridal.
If you're really worried about it however, just make it easy on yourself and ask the bride. She can give you a yea or nay, and advise whether you have to consider the Pippa Middleton factor - will the bridesmaids be in white, too?
From: Maggie | 8/14/11 at 2:23 am
I'm not wearing a dress but instead separates. A black skirt, black sling-back heels, and a white or cream sweater or top? (depends on the temperature on the day of).
Thanks for your thoughts.
Maggie
From: Pam Speak | 12/14/11 at 4:51 pm
I can't be the only person who thinks that the fact they've made the effort to attend the wedding is the important thing?
I'm planning my wedding at the moment and I don't care if my guests come wearing bin liners as long as they come to see me get married. The love is important not worrying about upstaging the bride.(I mean think about it, she's the bride, the one in the white poofy dress, seriously, people will hardly get confused.)
From: blakely | 2/26/12 at 11:23 pm
Oh there are too many rules. You can not wear white. You can not wear black. I think as long as it is not bridal go ahead !
From: KedR Wedding Photographer Sydney | 4/22/12 at 2:22 am
A big no no !