Favors aren't required for weddings, but we love them here at the magazine. They're such a great way to "say" something nice to your guests. Plus, they're just fun to create.
But I'm not alone in noticing that some guests are avoiding the favors completely; they "accidentally" leave the little wrapped gift box on the table behind them as they leave the wedding.
They've got enough candy dishes or picture frames, or they don't think they'd actually use the tiny wind chimes with the couples' names on them. (That's why our favorite favors are flavored -- even if someone doesn't want the edible treats, their neighbor probably does.)
Favors often absorb a lot of the couple's time and creativity; they are generously given. And few of these guests would return an actual gift, because they know that would be hurtful and rude. But favors must feel different to them; impersonally presented, perhaps they come across like an optional prize. And so some people deliberately leave them behind, hoping you'll think they simply forgot, and hoping you can use them better than they can.
How do you feel about the idea of guests declining a favor?
From: Etiquette: Are Guests Rude If They Leave the Favor? | 10/12/10 at 9:11 am
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From: bridal girl | 10/12/10 at 11:38 am
I guess some guests do not like to bring things that they will not use, but in most cases even if guests know that they won't use it, most are still enthusiastic to receive such gifts.
From: bklynite | 10/12/10 at 12:27 pm
This is why favors should be of the edible variety - no one wants a trinket to clutter their house but no one will say no to a cookie or other edible treat.
From: Kathryn | 10/12/10 at 3:32 pm
Something is only truly a gift if it comes with no expectation on the part of the giver, and favors are really just little gifts. While it's the gracious thing to do for guests to take favors home with them, they shouldn't be obligated to.
From: NYC Faces Makeup Artist Anni Bruno | 10/12/10 at 7:17 pm
I agree that favors ought to be consumable or usable in some way. Knick-knacks cause unnecessary clutter, and especially for those of us living in small city apartments, we just don't need extra "stuff" that serves no purpose! I am noticing a lot lately, in lieu of favors, that the bride and groom are taking their wedding favor budget and donating it to charity, and simply leaving a note on each table explaining that choice. Very classy!
From: Melanie | 10/13/10 at 11:35 am
I agree that an edible favor is superior to a knick-knack that will be thrown away, but to me a party favor should be the last special surprise of a wedding. My favorite way to distribute favors would be to have the valet parkers put the wedding favor in the wedding guest's cars. What a fun surprise to find a special treat with a note from the wedding couple in the car after the wedding reception!
From: Shawna | 10/13/10 at 12:56 pm
I think people get way to hung up on favors. I have been to weddings without them and not even realised they were missing til someone else mentioned it. I have also been to weddings were big fancy favors were handed out, I felt I needed to take them as to not insult the bride and groom but then tossed them out as soon as I got home. Too many people spend way to much money and energy on favors. Your thank you to guests should be a heartfelt note which expresses your true feelings towards them, not some overpriced cheaply made item people are probably just going to toss when they get home anyways!
From: Cam Stubby Holder Man | 10/13/10 at 6:43 pm
If the guests leave the favour then its not rude, just a sign that you bought something that they might not like. The best idea we have seen is doing a few favours so people are bound to like 1 of them. Useful favours and ones that have a life beyond the night are best, wine bottle stoppers, candles or even stubby holders are a pretty good idea.
From: BC | 10/14/10 at 6:08 pm
Cam, judging from your spelling of favour (as opposed to favor) and the mention of stubby holders, I'm guessing you're an Aussie like me. Some of our American friends may need an explanation as to what a stubby holder is!
From: Talley Sue Hohlfeld | 10/14/10 at 6:15 pm
A beer sleeve! We call them beer cozies or can cozies.
(I had to Google it--I was guessing a votive candle holder, and I was wrong)
http://shop.aviationdownunder.com/product.php?pid=9
From: jess | 11/29/10 at 7:03 am
So glad someone said something about the "stubby". I was very confused.