Though our audience is mostly brides, I often field etiquette queries from the MOB, the MOH, wedding guests -- even, now and then, the groom. Recently I received this question from a bride's friend who will be doing a reading at the ceremony:
I bought a great dress to wear to my friend's wedding, and I sent her a link to it to show it off. She told me she wants me to get a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids' because I'll be in some pictures. Was I wrong not to have cleared the dress with her before buying it?
This bride is getting carried away -- the only person whose attire she can "dictate" is her own. She should greatly influence her groom, and last, she should have final say on the attendants' attire (she needs to respect their budgets and comfort levels).
A reader, like an usher, abides by a "wear clothing appropriate to the formality" code, which should go without saying. So nope -- this friend wasn't wrong to buy it without a sign-off. The photos aren't about the fashions or (yes, you heard it from us) the color coordination. It's about the people. Hopefully the bride is just having a mild attack of last-minute wedding-perfection nerves.
There's one thing I'm not 100-percent on -- so tell me what you think: Can the bride can ask (early on), "Would you wear a color that will coordinate with my bridesmaids?" I'm not sure I even like that. Maybe there are ways, though. . . . Weigh in. And if you have any questions -- on any wedding topic -- send an email to our AskMartha mailbox: askMartha@marthastewartweddings.com.
(Want tips on attendants' attire? Check our website!)