"How can I involve both my mom and stepmom in my wedding?"
That's the question at least one of our readers is pondering -- her mother wrote to me (via our AskMartha e-mail box, askMartha@marthastewartweddings.com) requesting for ideas on how both she and the stepmom can be involved in the wedding. They're cordial but not particularly close, and they've both had distinct roles in their daughter's life. And as such, they want distinct roles in their daughter's wedding.
The funny thing is, most traditional etiquette books don't really allow a place for stepparents -- which isn't practical or realistic in today's world.
I still think the "official" hostess of a wedding should be the bride's mother; therefore, she should be the last to take her seat. But perhaps the stepmom could be the second-to-last seated. Then the bride could stop at the bottom of the aisle and give them each a hug in turn or at the very least, set aside "alone" time for each of them shortly before the ceremony. They could also both participate in any "unity candle" sort of ritual or give a reading.
Got any ideas for her? And, are you trying to find ways to involve a stepparent?