I received a bridal-shower invitation in the mail the other day; a little slip of paper tucked into the envelope said:
In order to save time and paper, please leave your gift unwrapped. Just place a bow and a card on it.
I've given advice on how to word this sort of request before, but I've never been a fan of the idea. It feels too micro-managing to me. And like a good little Martha do-be, I enjoy wrapping presents -- it lets me be creative and put my own stamp on things. Without wrapping paper, I worry it'll feel more like "handing over the loot" and less like "giving a gift." Maybe the bow will be enough. . . .
I see her point -- showers in this family are 75-person extravaganzas, and opening all those unsurprising gifts (everybody shops from the registry) would take for - ev - er! Plus, the volume of wrapping paper would be non-"green."
I'll let you know how it feels in real life. I'm attempting to get around the clause by also giving her a set of reusable nylon shopping bags; they'll be my "wrapping paper." And I'm going to add a short note, not just a card.
How do you think this sort of request would go over in your family?
From: Tweets that mention Etiquette: The No-Wrapping-Paper Shower - The Bride's Guide : Martha Stewart Weddings -- Topsy.com | 2/1/11 at 11:31 am
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From: Melina | 2/1/11 at 11:58 am
I really like the no-wrapping idea for the gifts for a bridal shower. I spent so much time unwrapping instead of socializing with some people I hadn't seen in a long time. I felt like I missed out. And with garbage bag after garbage bag of wrapping paper, I can really see how we can help out the earth by skipping the wrapping!
From: Shawna | 2/1/11 at 2:42 pm
I LOVE gift wrapping. I understand the point that it takes forever to unwrap all those gifts but if I am giving you a gift, I have some say on how it is presented. Back in my grandma's day shower presents were wrapped in practical wrapping, such as a table cloth as the paper and a measuring tape as a ribbon. I have always thought that was neat so I have carried on that tradition. I never arrive at a wedding shower or baby shower with a gift wrapped in paper. Always a table cloth, dish cloth, baby blanket etc.
From: Talley Sue Hohlfeld | 2/1/11 at 4:48 pm
I'll be honest. There's a part of me that thinks, "If it's going to take *that* long to open all those presents--so much that it damages the party--then maybe you invited too many people!"
I know, I know--it can get pretty big just inviting family, sometimes! But I'm not in love with the huge showers, even if they are common in my world.
@Shawna, I love your idea about wrapping presents with a practical cloth. That's what I'm doing, with those shopping bags. Maybe we should all consider that! Hmmmm. . .
From: Megan | 2/1/11 at 6:08 pm
I was once asked to bring a gift wrapped in clear wrapping paper to a shower. I understand the whole idea of the gifts then being on display... and no one has to sit through the bride opening all the presents, but I think I would have preferred to just bring an unwrapped gift.
From: Norma | 2/2/11 at 12:42 pm
As one who is conceited about my creativity in gift wrapping, I was at first repelled by this restriction. But then I thought, "If there are so many gifts that time to open is a factor, then obviously no one will really see or appreciate my creativity, so I might as well get over it and find something else to be conceited about."
From: Talley Sue Hohlfeld | 2/8/11 at 5:44 pm
I promised I'd come back and let you know how I felt about the no-wrapping-paper shower, once it was over.
I liked it! I was a bit surprised, but in fact, it was fine. There was still a "present opening," but it was more of a "present presenting." And it DID go faster, but it didn't feel like we were being brushed off.
So I still got my moment of feeling like the bride noticed my gift, and me, which is really all I wanted.
And if you can politely host an "Around the Clock" shower, or a "Basket" shower (and you can), I think a shower hostess is perfectly polite to host a "No Wrapping Paper" shower.
From: Keri | 4/1/12 at 7:47 pm
What is an "Around the Clock" shower?
From: Cherie | 4/17/12 at 11:27 pm
I think wrapping is gorgeous, I don't like to do it tho! lol...however, if it were my party/shower/wedding/bday party, I think walking into the area where all the gifts are at unwrapped it takes the element of surprise out of the whole idea! To each his own!
From: Elisabett | 7/30/12 at 6:30 pm
I find this practice, quite honestly, a bit silly. It's not as "green" as people think it is. Your friends and relatives are flying and driving (in most cases) from all over the country to attend your wedding. You are presumably flying to some far-off destination and indulging in less-than-green tourist activities for your entire honeymoon, and you think a few un-wrapped presents is going to reduce your carbon footprint? Most of what you see in those "giant" trash bags, is actually air. This is another example of "I'm going to yank every one around on puppet strings because I'm getting married" wedding madness that's sweeping the nation. And it's not just micro-managing your guests *one* time, it's usually in a long-list of over-the-top expectations that people have when they grab the spotlight for the day.
People are "showering" you with gifts and attention at a shower. If you don't want to put up with gifts - in whatever form people give them - don't have the shower please. Brides are getting so demanding, and greedy, I cringe every time I get an invitation in the mail.
From: Nickie | 7/31/12 at 4:03 pm
I personally think it is just stupid. I had a lot of people at my shower and I unwrapped every present somewhat quickly but just enough to be excited and thank each person personally and still had time to socialize after. You don't need to examine every present, most of you picked out. Take the time with your soon to be hubby to really look over everything after the shower. That made it more fun for me. I personally like to see the surprise on the bride's face when she opens a gift. I think people are just getting lazy and ungrateful. When people go to a shower they know what is going to happen and that we are going to watch someone open gifts for an hour or so. Even if it's the more green way to go. People can use recycled paper and then someone can recycle that paper again.
From: Karen | 9/8/12 at 1:54 pm
There can be another, hidden reason for this type of shower. When we threw my sister-in-law her baby shower, she had an anxiety attack in the middle of opening her gifts because she hates being the center of attention and could not take her anti-anxiety meds while pregnant. Now that she is getting married, her mother and I have decided not to have the gift-opening part of the shower to spare the bride anxiety. I am looking for creative ways to present the gifts though, so that the guests are acknowledged for their thoughtful and generous gifts. Any ideas are appreciated.
From: Rhonda | 2/20/13 at 2:17 pm
I am a matron of honor thinking of holding a shower with no gift wrap for several reasons. One my bride has a hard time being center of attention, second she has a large family and large group of friends and doesn't want to hurt feelings by leaving anyone out, but it would be too expensive for me to host 2 showers and wouldn't feel comfortable asking her mom or future mother in law to do another(i am moh and her 24 yr old daughter is bridesmaid but her house just burned down and i am not expecting her to help with the cost) I feel she can greet guests at the gift table and accept their gifts and thank them as they walk in, then leave on display for all to see while she gets to give more people one on one attention. I have been at large showers where the gift opening goes on for hours and it is hard for people to sit thru, but like I said a smaller shower or 2 just wont work. Just need to find a way to approach it in the invite to not hurt anyones feelings.
From: Desarae | 4/4/13 at 1:50 am
Another idea if you choose to do no wrapping...as each guest walks in, take their picture with their gift. That way you don't have to write down who brought what and guest of honor has something to use to write thank you notes with
From: Karen | 6/10/13 at 10:58 am
I recently attended a no-wrap-gift wedding shower. The hostesses claimed it was an eco-friendly idea, but the bride admitted to many during the shower that it was really her high anxiety over being the center of attention. Being old-school (I am 50 something), this was a new concept for me, so I decided to wait and see how it played out before I made up my mind how I felt about it. Well....BLEH. I was a bit disgusted. The display table was in the center of the room, indicating that gifts were expected and important. Other than the display of the gifts, no mention was ever made. No thank you, no acknowledgement, zippo. Call me old fashioned, but to me a gift is something that is well thought out and from the heart by the giver, and received with gratitude by the recipient. In this case, it was pretty one-sided.