In a recent letter to our AskMartha e-mail box, askMartha@marthastewartweddings.com, Amber is having a destination wedding and wishes she knew how many people would decline. The venue holds a set number, and she'd hate to cut the list only to find out that they could have squeezed in 15 more people, "if only she'd known."
It's hard to have any sort of mathematical guidance for this. Some planners and books have said "count on a 10% decline rate;" others have said 20%. But I've spokeN to brides who had 100% -- especially in the era of save-the-dates and advance planning. And then, there are families that aren't quite so close. . . .
Add to it that Amber's destination is in the United States (in fact, in the same state as a chunk of her guest list), and I don't think she can assume the "destination" designation will keep people from attending.
My vote: Trim the list to fit the venue (with only the tiniest of overages), and let go of the regret.
What sort of decline rate are you experiencing? And has the location of the wedding affected it?
From: Michelle Mc Dermott | 12/7/10 at 11:53 am
Experience shows Destination Weddings to Ireland from the USA can expect decline of up to 50% but will of course depend on number of & type of guests on original list. Obviously if list close family only don't expect 50% decline ,expect almost 90% acceptance !
From: Wedding Queen | 12/8/10 at 7:55 pm
Yeah, there is no magic equation for figuring out what human beings might do in this circumstance. Plan on 100% attendance (that every guest will come) so you're prepared.
From: Rosaleen | 12/9/10 at 8:02 am
I'm battling with this predicament. We don't have a big budget, but I have a HUGE family. I would also have friends I've made in the last 10 years that I would love to have there. Feelings are going to get hurt and so will our credit.
From: Rachel | 12/13/10 at 7:46 pm
Our destination wedding is within a 3 hour drive for most of our guests but we also have a big group that will have to fly from around the world. The venue will only allow us to hold 200 people, otherwise, we have to move the tent to another location on site and it will add more costs. Cutting a guest list can be stressful but when all is said and done, we are inviting a total of 240 guests. I couldn't imagine a day without the friends and family that are on the invite list. Just going to deal with it as it comes and keeping fingers crossed we have around 200 join us in May.
From: Rod | 12/26/10 at 3:19 pm
If you pay for the guests airfare and hotel you will get a higher rate
From: Julie | 12/26/10 at 6:25 pm
I had a decline rate of almost 50% for my very not-destination wedding.
Plan for 100% accepting, but be prepared for 100% declining.