When England's Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton, he gave his bride his mother's engagement ring.
This touching tradition appeals very much to some people -- and not at all to others. On one hand, an heirloom ring, carries a sense of continuity and belonging go along with it that can't be duplicated. On the other, there's something so special about having a ring chosen just for you, to be worn on your finger alone.
Do you have an heirloom engagement ring, or would you want one?
From: Katie | 11/23/10 at 3:10 pm
An heirloom engagement ring is my dream!
From: Laurice | 11/23/10 at 8:25 pm
I've had my mother's old solitary-diamond ring and my fiancé took it and used that diamond on my engagement ring. There are 3 on it, my mother's old one, a diamond from a ring of his mother's and a new one for me!
From: Holly Schoenke, Simply Sweet Weddings | 11/23/10 at 10:23 pm
I love the idea of an heirloom stone, put into a new setting
From: Lulu | 11/24/10 at 9:31 am
My engagement ring was my fiance's grandmother's. I love that it is a family heirloom and I am honored to be able to wear it. It probably helps that it is an absolutely beautiful ring that fit my finger perfectly without any resizing. Not to mention that his grandparents have a truly lovely and touching story. I think family rings are great however I would be superstitious about wearing a ring from a couple that got divorced.
From: Emaline | 11/26/10 at 12:43 am
I definitely would rather have 'my own' ring. Honestly, I'd be terrified of losing an heirloom ring.
From: Amanda | 11/26/10 at 8:12 pm
I proudly wear an heirloom engagement ring passed down from Grandma. My mother-in-law-to-be gave my beloved the ring with a gentle suggestion that it looked like it was getting to be about time to give it to me, and while it's a little odd to think about mother-in-law-to-be having a role in our getting hitched, I actually think it's really sweet and consider the ring a reminder that I'm gaining not just a spouse but a whole family.
From: Kristin | 11/26/10 at 9:48 pm
I have my grandmother's ring. 17 diamonds, art deco, one of a kind, in platnium. It would be a shame to leave it in a safe deposit box! My husband didn't need to pay for it, but he made up for it with a beautiful wedding band!
From: Teri Davis Newman | 11/26/10 at 9:53 pm
I have an heirloom wedding ring that is pave set with loads of beautiful high quality diamonds in heavy platinum that is breathtakingly beautiful and I couldn't have bought it for less than 15K. My husband gave it to me and I love it so much. I wore it every day when we were first married but after a few years, I chipped one of the diamonds so now I wear a small gold band with my engagement ring and the family ring on special occasions. I don't want to damage it and I want to pass it on someday.
From: jesika | 11/27/10 at 12:39 am
i would have loved to have a ring that was my grandmothers. i have always loved my momma ring and was hoping to get that one. my husbands parents divorced not to long after he was born. i wouldnt have wanted one from his family. honestly~ i liked the process of going with him and looking at the rings and picking one out with him. that was special to the both of us. when my oldest niece gets married i will ask her if she would like it. and i hope it will get passed down from there.
From: Here's Johnny | 11/27/10 at 10:02 pm
Does my ex-fiance's ring count as an "heirloom"? I think she'd rather have "her own" ring, but I can't afford it...
From: Diana | 11/28/10 at 3:48 am
Being that many marriages end in divorce. I would suggest that if the marriage ends that the ring be returned to the family from which it came. A woman I know did not want to return a giant diamond ring that was in the husbands family for many generations (it was brought to the US from Europe). It was so sad that his family members were pleading with her to return it, but she felt entitled to it. I was saddened, because it held no sentimental value to her.
From: patei | 11/28/10 at 8:03 pm
when my youngest son was going to get married, I offered to give him my gold band, re-sized for him if he wanted it. his father and I were married 25yrs and divorced so I thought he might not want it.
he was happy to have it and told me he probably would not have had one due to the cost. I have no daughters so this was one way to pass on my ring.
my sons father gave our oldest son his ring when he married.
From: Allison | 11/28/10 at 9:15 pm
My fiance's mother passed away when he was a teenager,and I met him in college so I never got to meet her. His father offered it to him for me before we were engaged and I feel truly blessed to wear it. It showed me that not only did he love me and his father approved, that his father felt his mother would too, and that meant more to me than having "my own" ring.
From: G. Gravelle | 12/1/10 at 6:13 pm
I would have loved a heirloom ring but my dad used the diamonds from my mom's set to create a new band for her for their 25th anniversary back in 1976; my grandmothers were buried with theirs; and my mother-in-law is still wearing hers. A few years ago, I lost the diamond and claws from my engagement ring. I am now wearing a used engagement ring and wedding band [not a matching set] that we bought in a used jewelery store plus a new anniversary band from our 15th anniversary.
From: Ashly | 12/1/10 at 10:12 pm
My husband gave me a ring that had been his mother's, its a single diamond in a simple gold setting, his father had given her the ring when they were young and later replaced it with another. When my husband wanted to propose, his mother offered it to him, and it means a great deal to me. We now have a young son who loves to play with the ring (I have to wear it on a chain as I'm pregnant with our second and my hands are swollen) I explain to him that its a very special ring that Daddy gave to Mommy and that it used to belong to Nana and one day when he finds a special girl I'll give it to him to give to her, like Nana did for Daddy... He gets such a smile on his face and I like to think we've started a tradition...
From: Kristi | 12/2/10 at 12:32 am
I have both. My engagement ring was one that had been passed down in my family for generations. I had never even seen it except for in pictures, I always thought that it was beautiful. I didn't know that there was a tradition in the family that the engagement ring is passed down to the eldest daughter, and then at the five year wedding anniversary a ring is chosen by the wife and the heirloom ring is put away ensuring that it is there to be passed on. I find it amazing that this happens, it was never talked about until after I was engaged, I feel even more like I am part of a long history, like a special society.
I have two boys, an only child, and my mom's sister only has a boy also. I don't know exactly how the tradition will go now, but we will find a way.
From: omega smith | 12/6/10 at 2:37 am
My fiancé actually proposed to me on November 16, 2010. He asked me take off his shoes, once I removed the left shoe and sock and proceeded to remove the right shoe, when I removed his sock I found a beautiful antique wedding set on his toe! I was so surprised, not just by the rings on his toe but by the distinct beauty of the rings. He explained to me that the rings belonged to his grandmother and had been passed down to his oldest aunt then to his mother and now to me. His mother had suggested the ring after he had told her that he wanted to marry me. The both of them were concerned whether or not I would like the ring. He told me that he had seen another ring he liked for me an would be willing to get that one if I did not like the family heirloom. I quickly responded that no ring could compare and I was proud wear the family ring. The next morning when I picked up the USA today
I saw where the prince of wales had announced his engagement and had given his fiancé princess diana's ring. How timely for me to experience such royal treatment from my prince! When I shared my good news with my mother, she was happy and fond of the family tradition. She said to me "that ring has been in his family for years, please don't loose it." I smiled as we both admired the ring....
From: Lisa | 12/12/10 at 6:22 am
I normally wouldn't take sides to any of this. To each his own I sort of believe. However, in the case of Princess Diana and recieving her engagement ring...I wouldn't want it. That marriage was a shambles. It zigzagged on a course that ultimatly put Diana in the vehicle, on the street, that killed her. That engagement ring was worn by a young unwise girl that simply trusted from being sheltered in life, and had the fantasy fairy tale..the next King of England, to be her husband, she to be Queen one day. Who gets that!! None of us. But it was all a farce, and a fake. England seems to forget that Camilla chased after the Prince when she was married, when the Prince got engaged to Diana...and never backed away. His engagement to Diana should have been a clear sign...if the birth of Dianas children didn't add onto it....that Charles wasn't available. Self respect should have made her let go, even if the man called or persued her. Now at the same dinner table Kate Middleton is suppost to wear that ring on her finger while Charles and Camilla sit across from her. The same ring that was suppost to mean love, honor, cherish, respect. None of which Camilla allowed to happen in the marriage since she kept her foot in it. I wouldn't want the ring. It did not represent and nor does it now...anything it was suppost to. What The Prince should have done for his bride to be, is possibly give her one of Dianas favorite rings as a Christmas gift this year, when he picked out a engagment ring that has no history of deciet, and tragedy.
Anyway, thats just my opinion.
From: Bruce's Woman | 12/12/10 at 7:42 am
What I see in William's gift of his mother's engagement ring is the enduring love of a son for his mother, given to show both that love and the love he obviously feels for the woman he will marry. In years gone by, an "own ring" was unconventional; it became customary in the last century, but before that, tradition was that when a man gave a woman an engagement ring, it was from his family, to symbolize the union of two families joining.
When my son-in-law proposed to my daughter, I gave him a ring that had been a gift from my late husband; it wasn't my engagement ring, as I didn't get one when we becaame engaged (he offered, but there was a beautiful set of flatware that we'd seen that we both loved that he gave me instead, which I still have and use to this day; someday, my children will probably divide it as they all love it too, and it's known in the family as "the engagement ring"--since they've all heard the story many, many times).
I'd love it if someday my grandson asks me if he can have a ring to offer the woman he loves; to me, it would be a gift beyond measure, a link that lasts long after I join my husband.
From: Carie | 12/12/10 at 9:48 pm
I think it is wonderful that William gave Kate his mothers ring. With Diana being so famous and us the public seeing that ring on her finger, the ring has become an icon. By William giving this ring to Kate shows that William thinks of his mother and did what he could to involve her in his future wedding plans. This is a diferent situation, as far as anyone else getting there future mother in-laws ring I know I would not want one. I think it would be better if the future bridegroom went out and purchased his future wife a new ring, Williams situation is very, very different.
From: I have three | 12/13/10 at 3:15 pm
I wear my own diamond wedding band, a matching diamond engagement ring set with my great grandmother's solitaire. And I co opted my mother's pave diamond wedding band which I wear closest to my heart. I loved the stacked look. And I love looking down and remembering these three great and loving people several times a day. It is a link to them. I am one who is opposed to letting jewelry sit in a safe or in a bedroom drawer. It needs to be seen and loved everyday, just like we do.
From: Jerry | 12/14/10 at 8:16 am
My mother-in-law to-be gave me an engagement ring, a diamond solitaire -- very big and beautiful -- which I wore with pleasure. Several years later my mother gave me two sapphires that had belonged to my grandmother, and I reset the diamond with them as a three-stone ring, which I wore with pleasure. But my mother-in-law was very upset. And so it goes...
From: Kate | 12/15/10 at 2:36 pm
My now fiancee and I talked about this months before he proposed, we knew from the very beginning that things wouldn't be traditional. Neither of us are strictly traditional, especially when it comes to something as deeply steeped in tradition as weddings.
My mother is now married to her third husband, and passing down the ring would absolutely never occur to her, mostly because she plans to wear it for the rest of her life, but also because she's more practical and matter-of-fact about these things, and believes that if we "can't afford" the rings, then we shouldn't be getting married. This set (the nicest of the three) isn't my style, neither are the two plain/engraved gold bands from her first two marriages. Also, they're way too small, and it would be silly to resize something that I don't like, that isn't my style, just to wear it until I get one that I do like. So that's not in the cards.
We don't do heirlooms on my mother's side, everyone keeps their own rings and passes down china, antique furniture, etc.
On my father's side, people get their own rings, if anything - a lot of the women don't wear rings, or wear plain bands that their husbands bought them.
My mother-in-law is a very sweet, warm, loving person, and would absolutely love to pass down a ring, however, her family doesn't do heirloom wedding rings, and, like my mother, her rings are way too small, not my size, and are going to stay on her finger until the day she dies. She has one daughter, but we don't think she'll be getting married. If so, however, my FMIL would at least give her some piece of her jewelry set. My FSIL is her absolute favorite, and she goes to the end of the earth for sis (whether or not she should is another story entirely, haha).
So, as it stands, no heirlooms to pass down, but that's quite alright. I've never been traditional, so it makes more sense for us to go the new route.
A few months ago, DF and I went ring shopping. A few stores in, I tried on my current ring and started crying then and there. I knew instantly that it was perfect, as did he. It fits my personality absolutely perfectly - it's antique-looking without looking "old", is unique (has a flower design within the top diamond set), is a great size for my finger (I'm only female, so of course big diamonds entice me, but I hate the women that order their boyfriends to get giant rocks just so they can have a bigger ring than the b-tch next door. Ugh!). Everyone who sees it comments on how unique and gorgeous it is, and how perfectly it fits my personality. A little different, a little traditional, funky, flashy but not ostentatious, and absolutely gorgeous. And the sparkle. SO. DAMN. SPARKLY!!
Very, very happy with the outcome.
From: anne | 12/19/10 at 8:25 pm
My mother died when I was in my teens, and she had two diamond rings. I chose her engagement ring, which was a lovely stone in a white gold basket setting - my sister has the other, which I believed belonged to my mother's sister. I didn't wear it til I was 18. When I met my husband to be, he was interested, but thought I was engaged. Finally someone explained the ring to him, and fromthere on, all went well. He was just out of the service and going to schoool on the GI bill with little money. The time came when his friends were giving their girls engagement rings and he was upset that he couldn't do so as well. I finally suggested we use the stone from my mother's ring and put it in another setting, which worked out nicely because with the s tone on prongs, I was afraid I'd lose it.
We had a band designed around it with diamonds on either side, and we were both happy. As for
or the setting on the original ring, I wear it on my silver charm bracelet! 0ur marriage lasted 54 years.
From: Linda | 12/24/10 at 6:30 am
When I got engaged back in the 70's, my fiance gave me his mother's diamond and we had it reset. However, in the 90's when we got divorced, it became a serious issue. I wanted the ring to go to one of his nieces...one in particular. I kept asking him if he had given it to her and he hadn't. I just didn't want that ring on "the second wife", if there was one. Nor did I want to keep it as it belonged in his family. Long story short, I got the ring back without his knowing and waited until the day in court when we got divorced, and I handed it back to him...with the stipulation that it go to his neice. Honestly, I don't know if it ever did and he has remarried. I have let it go emotionally, but hindsight is 20/20 and I would have rather had my own ring, even a small one that I could have kept. Every situation is different, but with the reality of the rate of divorce, it could end up being an issue. Just my two cents.
From: Ann | 12/27/10 at 4:30 pm
When I became engaged, my mother offered me her wedding ring and band. She and my father were divorced after 30+ years of marriage. I don't remember my mom ever wearing the rings because her fingers were so swollen from arthritis from when I was very young. Instead she wore a wide gold band that my dad gave her on either their 10th or 15th anniversary. While some may see it as bad luck, I'm not superstitious and don't believe in any of that nonsense so I happily accepted. The diamonds in my mom's ring were all fairly small, so my husband and I had a new ring designed with a sapphire as the main stone and my mom's stones as accents. It is beautiful and one-of-a-kind. We're approaching our 12th anniversary and expecting our first child and we couldn't be happier!
From: Ann | 12/27/10 at 4:34 pm
One other thing I was going to mention, my husband's father died when he was a teenager and his mother remarried while he was in college. His mother never offered him the ring that she had worn before his father died. I'm glad she didn't because she's the type that would have mentioned it every chance she got. Now her second husband has passed away and my MIL wears BOTH rings on the same finger. I find that a little odd.
From: rewolf | 12/28/10 at 7:39 am
I got my mother in law's mother ring as my wedding ring with real stones but was uncomfortable wearing it because it WAS such a precious heirloom, and eventually got my husband to give me my own ring in a much simpler style for every day wear. now I have the dress up version and the one meant just for me to pass down.
From: Dona | 12/28/10 at 6:29 pm
When my widowed mother went to a nursing facility at the age of 90, she gave me her wedding ring. I wore it and treasured it. Two months after that, I escaped a fire with only my nightgown and my mother's ring. A year later, I gave it to my daughter who used it for her wedding ring. It is only a simple piece of metal, but the stories it has connected with it make it precious.
From: Tradition Passing Down Engagement Rings | yesengagementrings.com | 7/29/12 at 5:33 pm
[...] I didn't know that there was a tradition in the family that the engagement ring is passed down to the … is now married to her third husband, and passing down the ring… Link to original site [...]
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