I spoke with a bride the other day who refused to register. Heather told me, "I like the surprise of not knowing what I'm going to get." She wasn't worried about whether she and her groom got something they wanted; her goal was for the guests to give something they picked out; she wanted that personal connection between giver and gift.
Though -- Heather cheated a teeny bit. "I'm not opposed to telling people what I want or need if they ask. I know that some people feel like they need a particular direction," she said. "My fiance and I each made 'Mom registries,' and our mothers will give people ideas if they ask."
Before the rise of the department-store registry, this was how gift giving was handled. The gift buyers coordinated among themselves to be sure there were pots and pans, a vacuum cleaner, and something to eat off of. And the bride’s mom knew what the household was going to need.
There is a lot of pressure on brides to register, and Heather got some of that. But the day after her shower, she reported: "People commented on how I would not have gotten so many nice, personal things if I had registered."
Did you register yet? Have you (or did you) consider not doing it?