The girls in the matching dresses are an iconic part of every wedding photo album. But what *do* they do, other than stand there and look pretty in pink (or, in the coming seasons, purple)?
Most etiquette books have pretty simple lists of absolute must-do's:
-buy the dress (and the accessories)
-show up on time
-stand up front
-buy a gift
And there are frequently suggested duties, hosting a shower among them.
But there are also brides who think it's a bridesmaid's responsibility to research carbon offsets, and bridesmaids who are stunned that they've been asked to keep track of gifts at the shower.
We want to compile a list of all the things a bridesmaid should do (or even those they could do) -- from things as big-picture as "don't let your friendship drift away until the wedding is over" to stuff as silly and specific as "make a bouquet out of ribbons at the shower."
Help us think of everything, will you? Make your suggestions here in our comments section!
And watch for our list in an upcoming blog post.
From: Chrisie | 3/8/10 at 1:34 pm
Be there for the break down.
Encourage the bride to get their ideas in the wedding. Reminding the bride that it is there wedding not their mom's, mother-in-law's, aunt's, sister's, or another bridesmaid's.
Keep an eye out for ideas or sales and point them out to her
Jump around in circles of joy becasue you love them and this is making them happy. Even if you are single and your relationship will change becasue you're not there number one confidant any more.
Help smooth over stressful situations (ex. divorced parents that hate each other)
The list goes on and on
From: Amy | 3/8/10 at 1:36 pm
Listen to the bride talk about the wedding (within reason)
Buy her a drink when it seems like she's stressed out and could use it
Plan the shower and bachelorette party (within reason and your means) to give her one less thing to plan
Order your dress on time
Send in your RSVP even if "you know I'll be there"
From: Brit | 3/8/10 at 11:30 pm
I don't think there is one "set" list, so much as the bride really needs to be upfront about expectations from the very beginning. If she isn't, it makes for a not so enjoyable occasion.
From: Brittany | 3/10/10 at 7:17 pm
1. Make sure she won't do something she'll regret. For example, my friend didn't want to do a registry (b/c the stuff she already has would "make do"), but I thought it would be worthwhile to at least make a small registry with good quality things..
2. Don't be an obnoxious bridesmaid. If you don't like your dress, suck it up. The dress probably isn't as bad as you think.
3. Have fun!!! Make everything about her! She wants to feel extra special.
From: vibrant_red | 5/30/10 at 8:28 am
Hiya. I agree with all the suggestions so far, but I have come up with a problem which I will try to explain. My Head Bridesmaid (we're in the UK) has a very young baby. She is my obvious choice as we have been friends since we were 8 years old. Due to complications with my previous marriage my friends are scattered throughout the UK, many I haven't seen in some time. I don't have a group of girls - I'm a stay at home mum in a new city!
Either way I know she is ecstatic about me asking her to be Head Bridesmaid and I know she'd love to do it. Obviously with a young baby she has other, greater commitments and I don't want to ask her to do lots of organising, especially as we live an hour apart.
From: Mariya the Photo Album Gal | 7/27/10 at 11:46 pm
Be there for the bride every minute
Help with wedding favors
Plan and host bachelorette party
Help with bride's make up during the wedding (little touch-ups throughout the day). Make up, hair, dress should look perfect on the pictures for the wedding photo album.