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The Bride's Guide Blog

Off the Register?

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Posted by Jennifer Miranda, Associate Editor

I consider myself a bit of an old-fashioned girl. So, the very thought of going through a store (or two) and picking out the things I'd like to fill my new home with makes me giddy—I imagine I'd be like that proverbial kid in the candy store.

But lately, I've been hearing talk about alternative registries, namely honeymoon registries. Couples create a honeymoon package, put the money up upfront, create suggested monetary denominations, then wait and see if guests contribute. It seems incredibly impersonal to me, but I guess it's not all that different from receiving a check in an envelope, right?

What do you think? Have you heard of this or gone to a wedding where this was the case? Are you considering registering for a honeymoon instead of home goods, or maybe some combination of the two?

Comments (12)

  • We're doing this for our wedding and I'm really excited. Sorry, much as I love china and crystal I don't think purchasing a place setting is any more personal that anything else... We're registering for things like swimming with dolphins, sailing and romantic dinners, things we want to do but otherwise probably wouldn't because of cost. If people help us do these awesome adventures we'll have the memories of them forever, just like we would the china.

  • I'm in the middle of this battle right now! Do I pick more "stuff" vs. the opportunity to create memories with my new husband? PLUS we've been living together for 2 years and have most items we need for our home. I don't want to create a registery for just the fact i'm having a wedding and "NEED" a registery. I'm going to do both.

  • i think it makes more sense than anything... why should they buy you crap? we all have that already. you give your guests a party to attend and a great time at your wedding, it seems fitting to me that if they want to contribute to the celebration, they actually can by wanting you to have a great time on your honey moon. we're all capable of shopping for ourselves :O)

  • I've realized that acquiring less and doing more makes me a happier person, so this idea of registering for experiences has me so excited.

  • We're registering for our honeymoon (Ireland!). We definitely don't need anything for our home, and I'm reluctant to even open up that can of worms. If I started thinking, Okay, maybe we do need new dishes, it would get completely out of control. I'd much rather be able to take a much more elaborate trip than we could ordinarily afford, and be able to include our guests in the trip of a lifetime!
    One of my good friends registered for her honeymoon in Scandinavia, and it went very well. Her guests really got into the idea of gifting a single train ride, one night in Oslo, etc, and they had a blast on their trip.

  • We are doing a honeymoon registry. We are both in our early 30s and we have lived together for two years so we have all the home things we need. Plus I found that a lot of things I was going to register for can be found at Home Goods for a fraction of the cost.
    I think having someone buy you towels from a registry is impersonal. When I am on the beach sipping a cool drink I will constantly think about the people that helped make it happen.

  • I think registries in general are impersonal and have gotten way out of hand. I have heard and seen some registries that consisted of vacuum cleaners and wiis. I rather pay towards the honeymoon or just give money than buy something to check off a list.

  • My fiance and I are registerd for our honeymoon and at a kitchen store. We have so much of what a new couple could need, so we don't need to register for more of it. The honeymoon registry will allow us to enjoy the first few weeks of our marriage with less stress. And as one friend told me, she and her husband used the honeymoon money for the honeymoon and other checks were invested or tucked away for other purposes.

  • For years, I've called the hotels where friends are honeymooning to send them a little "extra" - champagne and strawberries delivered on the third night after the inital excitement has worn off, a basket of fruit waiting at the last destination of an island-hopping adventure, surprise breakfast for two... With honeymoon registries, I know friends are thinking of me and are creating a great memory that will stick with them after the plate has been broken or the towels faded.
    I'm getting married next year, and we're planning to do both types of registries - but the gifts I will look forward to most are from the honeymoon registry.

  • I think with so many people getting married at older ages or after they have already been living together, not many couples need (or want) all the "stuff." That's how it is for me and my fiance. We planned on doing two registries - one non-traditional (honeymoon) and one traditional (for those guests who just couldn't get on board feeling comfortable with contributing to our honeymoon).
    However, shortly into our wedding planning, we found out that my sister's cancer had returned. So we nixed the honeymoon registry and suggested that guests make a donation to Stand Up 2 Cancer instead! It's a gift that gives to so many people...or, if they prefer, they can still buy us a toaster.

  • I know!! It's so hard to pick what the presents should go towards. On the one hand, we already have most of the appliances we need and (though more pretty things would be nice), strictly speaking we don't NEED them. Also, there's no way we'll be able to afford a nice honeymoon and really get away without some help. I found a company here http://www.gatheringguide.com/ec/destination_management.html that might be able to get us a discount if we want to take a real vacation. But I don't want to just ask everyone for honeymoon donations since we do have some more traditional guests who might be offended.

  • The secret to not offending people (and some people *will* be offended) is to not proactively tell anyone you're registering for a honeymoon. You wait until people say, "you have everything already, what do you need?" And then you say, "well, you could just get us something you think is incredibly useful, or that catches your eye in the store. Or I suppose you could help us with our honeymoon; if you want some specific ideas for that, there's a honeymoon registry."

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