Posted by Grace Bonney, of Design*Sponge
I’ve avoided talking about some of the more awkward things involved in planning a wedding because quite frankly, most of my family and friends are reading these posts. I certainly haven’t posted anything untrue, but I’ve avoided certain topics because I didn’t want to upset anyone or step on any toes.
That said, one of the stickier topics we’ve had to deal with—although not as sticky as budgets and keeping everyone happy—is the idea of a wedding registry. It seems like a fairly benign topic, but it’s been a tough one for me to stomach, much like the idea of a bridal shower.
I didn’t have a bridal shower for the same reason I fought having a registry: we don’t really need anything. Not that Aaron and I are sitting around our apartment laughing while we roll around in a big pile of possessions, but we’ve been together for over five years, and we’ve been living together for four of those. So most home things we needed, we bought. Towels? Yep. Silverware? Yep. Sheets? Too many to count (I have a weakness for bedding).
Though I did manage to escape the bridal shower by promising my parents they could throw a huge baby shower whenever the time comes, the idea of not creating a registry didn't fly. So we created a small registry, mainly for family, at Heath Ceramics and Williams Sonoma.
Some beautiful pieces I saw when i visited Heath Ceramics.
I’ve always had a hard time with the idea that someone who’s paying to come to your wedding, especially a destination wedding like mine, should have to do anything BUT get themselves to your wedding. But, like everything else, I’ve heard from a few people who were shocked that we even thought about not having a registry. I went around to most of our friends and said “Please, the registry is for our families, DON’T BUY US ANYTHING,” but inevitably it will happen. Or worse, we’ve had couples tell us that even though they didn’t ask for gifts, but rather charity donations, they knew who did and didn’t give. The last thing I want to give anyone is a guilt trip about a gift.
I feel like every single person coming to our wedding is a big giant gift all on their own. In times like these, the fact that they bought a ticket and took time off to spend in another state just for us is overwhelmingly generous. A present on top of that can be too much.