Posted by Grace Bonney, of Design*Sponge
I only have five posts left until the big day, and it’s getting down to the wire—and the sensitive subjects. So, today I thought I’d put one of the more uncomfortable topics I’ve dealt with out there and see if I’m not the only one losing it over well, losing it.
When Aaron and I got engaged last February I told myself “I’ll hire a personal trainer in January and start working out then”. I knew I didn’t want to make a big thing out of losing weight, but that I’d like to tone up a bit before we got married.
Fast-forward to January and I’m dealing with a complete lack of motivation, an economy that makes hiring a personal trainer seem as luxurious as jetting to Paris for the day, and a very sweet fiancé who makes me feel like I don’t need to do anything but show up and get dressed to look perfect for the wedding. Sounds great, right?
But over the past few months I’ve started to feel pretty heavy pressure to drop a few. Or more than a few. I’m not under the impression that I’m severely overweight or anything, but I’ve had a few wedding dress sales people (wonder why I hated dress shopping so much?) suggest that I should lose weight before the wedding, as well as a fairly decent amount of friends and friends-of-friends (I know, not the friendliest friends). To be honest, I was pretty offended when an acquaintance suggested I was “brave” for eating carbs six months before my wedding, but now I’m feeling even worse because I’m practically the only person in my wedding party and family not hiring a personal trainer or shelling our for Weight Watchers or some other food-delivery system. I know a lot of it has to do with people wanting to look their best for the Martha Stewart Weddings photographers, but am I missing some fundamental gene that makes me have the motivation to go to the gym just to look good in pictures?
I don’t want to get all hyper-feminist here, but what happened to people just staying the same weight? I know pictures are forever, but sometimes comments and “helpful” suggestions are, too.
Ultimately, I decided I would try to eat healthier and walk a little more (my guilty pleasure is taking car services from Brooklyn to Manhattan), so I did a 3-day Blueprint cleanse and used that to kick-start a diet that was higher in vegetables and fruits and lower in processed foods. Nothing drastic (and nothing I shouldn’t have been doing already), but I feel better and all of the fresh vegetables have definitely been good for my skin. I think this is pretty much as far as I’m willing to go to look good for the wedding, and I go back and forth between feeling like I was lazy for not getting to the gym and feeling like I was right to just stick to being the same old me I always am.
So what do you guys think? Did you feel pressure to drop a few before the big day? Or did you feel supported to stay exactly as you were? Please tell me there’s some lucky girl out there who didn’t have a single person say anything to her about her weight. It might help me restore my faith in wedding-dom.
[Just so I don’t sound like a total bummer: I finally found a wedding band. Phew. It’s simple, super thin and perfect for days when I want to go more low-key and wear a thin band, or days when I want to be a bit fancier and wear both together]