Posted by Grace Bonney, of Design*Sponge
Now that we’re measuring the distance between today and the BIG DAY in weeks, not units of six months, it’s time to get serious about our honeymoon. That’s right, we haven’t booked a honeymoon. I know, I know, ridiculous, but here’s what happened.
Scene: Six months ago, our living room in Brooklyn.
Me: Hey, we should really book our honeymoon.
Aaron: Cool, what were you thinking?
Me: What about Big Sur? (I show him the website for the Post Ranch Inn)
Aaron: Awesome, it has a fireplace and a hot tub? Sounds great. Let’s book it!
Me: (sound of calling and reserving the honeymoon suite) We’re set. Big Sur here we come!
End scene.
The Post Ranch Inn.
Cut to six months later— the economy has totally tanked and visions of staying in fancy rooms on the edge of a cliff with an infinity pool have become largely laughable for us.
So now we’re trying to scale back our honeymoon and find the perfect place to spend our first week as a married couple. We shifted gears pretty quickly to decide on what is regrettably called “glamping” these days (glamorous + camping). We’re both fine with roughing it, but for the honeymoon we wanted something extra special.
The only hitch? All of the places we’d like to go are up north and seem to not open until the end of May or early June, a full month after the ceremony.
So now we’re trying to decide: should we wait a month to stay somewhere dreamy like The Resort at Paws Up in Montana, or Clayoquot in Canada? Or should we try something like this in Southern California that might be able to take us right after the wedding?
Some of the contenders: Clayoquot and The Resort at Paws Up.
My questions to all the wedded-experts in the audience today are:
1) Did you wait to go on your honeymoon, or go right after the wedding? If you waited, did you regret it? Or was it worth the wait?
2) Did anyone go fancy camping (I refuse to keep saying "glamping") for their honeymoon, and if so, where did you stay?
As always, thanks for your tips and feedback.
From: beth | 2/26/09 at 10:01 am
Hi Grace!
I just wanted to give my 2 cents worth. We waited a week after the wedding to go on the honeymoon--and honestly, even a month later would have been fine as well. We really enjoyed the fact that we weren't rushing off to the honeymoon locale (and awesome agritourism in Tuscany) because we got to enjoy the day, and enjoy all the family who traveled to see us. And most importantly, it made the wedding festivities less of a blur--the whole next week we ate leftover cake, looked at photos and talked to our friends and family rehashing the events. I would highly recommend it.
And the Glamping sounds fab!! Really, any place you go will be lovely with a bottle of wine and your new husband.
~Beth
From: Sarah | 2/26/09 at 10:45 am
I'm all for waiting a bit after the wedding for a honeymoon. After our 2004 wedding, we both collapsed from exhaustion and promptly came down with the flu. I think all the excitement and stress of a wedding can leave us too tired to enjoy that trip of a lifetime. So we spent a few nights at a downtown hotel, then waited until later for our official honeymoon. We don't have any regrets, and like Beth commented, I think we both remember the wedding details a lot better. Good luck!
From: amy lynn | 2/26/09 at 10:47 am
hi!
we weren't going to take a honeymoon at all until our 1 year anniversary (which we are still planning on going somewhere fabulous..like italy)...but then we got to thinking about having to go back to work that monday after getting married..how tired we would be, how strange it would be to not spend time together...just the two of us in peace and quiet...so..we decided to go to the very first place we ever went on vacation when we first met..we were both broke as could be, so it's far from fancy, but it means something to us both and it won't even cost us 2k for an entire week. it's a cute town in florida by the name of st. augustine and we will be staying in one of those cheesy condo places...but it's right on the beach. and it has a pool. and a kitchen..where we can make dinners together or pack a picnic breakfast to take with us to watch the sunrise...
maybe there is someplace nearby that the two of you had a romantic weekend together? i think after the wedding, you're gonna need a little getaway..
good luck, and let us know what you decide!
From: sam | 2/26/09 at 11:24 am
Hi Grace, I have been married 25 years, and this year (May 23rd) my husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary along with 150 guest at a small reception planned for us by our wonderful children. I did not go on a honeymoon the first time around, but after twenty five years, I am so looking forvard to it.
From: Melissa | 2/26/09 at 12:11 pm
Hi Grace! I fully encourage you guys to indulge in a getaway after the wedding, even if it is simpler than you had originally imagined. A honeymoon is one of those few chunks of time that the world holds sacred these days...and lets you truly escape. No interruptions, no emails to respond to, no obligations!
Our wedding is in April, and while we are also concerned about cash flow, we don't want to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Go for it!
From: Victory B. | 2/26/09 at 1:13 pm
You might want to investigate this other Big Sur retreat: http://www.treebonesresort.com/ They do glamping [sorry, but I really do love this word, ha!] yurt style. You'll still get those ocean views, but at a much more reasonable price. They even seem to have a non-yurt specially for honeymoons.
Let us know what you decide to do!
From: Victory B. | 2/26/09 at 1:35 pm
Also, if you're into generally nature/mountainous retreats, I highly highly recommend Asheville, NC [it's our all time fav, we're actually leaving for this house tomorrow http://www.chestnutforest.com/. That whole western NC region is sprinkled with beautiful Blue Ridge mountains, amazing gastropubs and rafting/hiking/climbing. Check out the historic and luxurious Grove Park Inn [http://www.groveparkinn.com/] and here's another yurt place http://www.fallingwatersresort.com/
From: GlampingGirl | 2/26/09 at 2:07 pm
There are plenty of glamping options world-wide regardless of your budget and the season. Check out http://glampinggirl.com for glamping destinations and reviews. Congrats on the wedding and wishing you a very romantic honeymoon.
From: Elisabeth | 2/26/09 at 2:55 pm
After our wedding, my husband and I had one of those your-mother-is-always-right moments. She'd warned us that we'd probably come down with colds after all of the excitement-- just as marathoners do once their training is done-- and lo and behold, my husband developed a head cold right after our post-wedding brunch. Thankfully, we'd planned a restful few days in Nantucket (we were married in Massachusetts), quietly enjoying its off-season charms, and a big honeymoon trip several months later. That allowed us to celebrate our wedding for the better part of a year!
From: grace | 2/26/09 at 3:34 pm
this is great advice guys, thanks so much!!
i'll let you know what we decide
grace
From: Katie | 2/26/09 at 4:03 pm
Hi Grace. My husband and I waited a week after the wedding before we left for the honeymoon (Ti Kaye in St. Lucia), and it was such a great decision. We were able to take a few days off from work the week after the wedding and just hung out, went to brunch, unpacked all of our gifts, wrote thank you notes. It was so relaxing, especially after being so busy that month. And we were also able to spend a little bit of the wedding gift money to buy some stuff for the honeymoon. I would highly recommend not rushing off after your wedding.
From: grace | 2/26/09 at 4:10 pm
hi guys-
update! so i called almost all of these places and it looks like we might wait to hit up one of the spots in canada or washington- thanks for that glampinggirl website- it was so, so helpful
grace
From: cory | 2/26/09 at 5:07 pm
Hi Grace. El Capitan Canyon is an amazing place. It's proximity to Santa Barbara is an added bonus. I'm getting married in Santa Barbara later this year and have recommended it as a place to stay for guests on a budget. Good luck!
From: Francesca | 2/26/09 at 8:23 pm
I've stayed at El Capitan in CA and it's NOT romantic!! There are kids and families everywhere and it gets super loud. I'd wait and go somewhere you really want to go...you (hopefully) only honeymoon once!
From: jessamyn | 2/26/09 at 10:14 pm
right after we got married (admittedly, we didn't have a "real" wedding, but a wonderful city hall one with much celebrating afterwards!), we had a great mini-honeymoon in SF at the W. It was rainy and cold (December) and wonderful, we stayed about 3 days.
Then, in May, we went on another mini-honeymoon, a vacation home rental gifted to us from my aunt and uncle in beautiful rural Mendocino. THEN, on our first anniversary, we went to Kauai.
And, though of course I wished we could've gone right away, it was so lovely when we were able to go, that I don't regret it in the least! Not that you necessarily have to wait, but I feel like weddings are so much excitement anyway, it's kind of an extra treat to just go back home and be married together and chillin for awhile before jetting off again.
Whatever you guys choose, I hope it's wonderful!
From: Erin | 2/27/09 at 2:27 pm
If you've never been to Clayquot Sound before, I highly recommend it. I've been to the wilderness resort for dinner, and it was unbelievable.
Also: make sure you spend some time in Tofino. I used to live there, and I recently prepped some tips for friends: http://www.tentativeplans.com/2009/02/top-10-things-to-do-in-tofino.html
From: viv | 2/27/09 at 2:27 pm
hi grace. i would defo wait a while to go, i went away 2 days after our wedding and we both got sick. we made up for it by going to azulik resort in mexico a year later. was so wonderful.. except for the skunk incident !!
From: kasey | 2/27/09 at 2:47 pm
hey grace! we waited until 2 months after our wedding to go on our honeymoon, and i'm so glad we did. all of our friends and relatives came from out of town to be at our wedding, and i loved not having to leave from the reception or even the next day. it was nice to spend time with everyone before they headed back home. also, it gave us something else to look forward to. you know how you get so wrapped up in the wedding planning and then it is just finished so soon..... but waiting on our honeymoon extended it a little bit.
and about glamping - i love it, i love being outdoors and not spending a ton of money to go on a fun trip! we've been to Maho Bay in St. john, VI, and it was beautiful and fun. we did this a few years ago, and weren't on our honeymoon, so we stayed in the cheapest tents which did not have their own bathroom. but they have other options, so maybe you could check it out. if you are wanting to go right after your wedding, it would be warm and tropical! we did lots of fun stuff like snorkel and kayak around the island. it was beautiful! sorry for the long post!
From: kelly | 2/27/09 at 3:05 pm
Those places look amazing.
When we got married we weren't able to take a long honeymoon so we stayed at the Royal Palms resort in Scottsdale for 3 days. The resort is incredible plus we could drive into Phoenix and surrounding areas. We went to the art museum, went hiking, and even visited in old west town, complete with gun show.
We saved up and then on our first anniversary, splurged. We flew into Puerto Vallarta and stayed at the Hacienda San Angel (which is super dreamy). Then we rented a car and drove south to a resort called El Tamarindo. This place was remote and super luxurious but also quite affordable. It was the most relaxing time ever.
I totally suggest you google these places and have a little look.
Good luck!
From: Christie | 2/27/09 at 3:20 pm
Hi Grace -- here's another option in beautiful British Columbia. What about a tenthouse suite? See http://www.rockwatersecretcoveresort.com
From: talya | 2/27/09 at 3:27 pm
Hi Grace,
Just a few ideas for you. If you are willing to go north of San Francisco, instead of south, there is a place called St. Orres near Mendocino -- little cabins, outdoor hot tubs, breakfast delivered to your door. 6 years ago it was $115 a night, not sure if it is still so reasonable. If you check it out, make sure the restaurant and hot springs are open when you plan to go!
Also, a lovely lodge in the mountains of North Carolina (to go with the Asheville suggestion) is Lazy Bear Lodge. Reasonable prices, very woodsy, and near to some nice places in the mountains.
If you can make it to Kaua'i, there are some very reasonable bed and breakfasts. We honeymooned for $60 a night at Glo Manor! We went back the next year to a place called Wahi Mana -- also inexpensive, but not in the same dirt-cheap price range.
These are possibly more specific than you'd like for suggestions, but I couldn't help myself.
Good luck planning!
From: jess | 2/27/09 at 3:52 pm
Hi Grace,
I was at El Capitan Canyon in the fall of 2003, and it was beautiful. I dream about it still. We didn't experience the loud family phenomenon described above, but I think you could easily get away from it if you needed to. There are so many wondrous places to explore nearby.
From: grace | 2/27/09 at 3:52 pm
hi guys! thanks so much for all the great ideas. i actually ALMOST pulled the trigger on the secret cove resort in BC until i read the trip advisor.com reviews. eek. not good.
so i just put a hold on a river tent at paws up for the end of may. we'll have to wait a month, but i think it will be worth it- and they were SO nice on the phone
grace
From: Anna | 2/27/09 at 3:54 pm
Hi there,
I just got married this past summer and my fiance and I were also looking for an affordable place where we could both escape and live a little luxuriously. We ended up choosing Tulum in the Mexican Riviera and we loooved it. It's amazing if you're into the following things:
-beautiful beaches
-ceviche
-amazing fresh tacos, salsa and guac for practically pennies
-reading and generally lazing about with no electronic gadgets in sight
Our favorite place we stayed was Posada Margherita. It's owned by Italian expats who make their own bread and other delicious Italian specialties in their semi-outdoor restaurant that faces the beach. (If you're wondering why you would care about Italian food when you're in Mexico, all I can say is after a week of tacos, pasta sounds awesome.) We had some truly magical days and nights in Tulum.
Also, we did go right after the wedding and I definitely recommend it. However, we spent a week with our families leading up to the wedding so I didn't feel like we were running off after having spent only a day with them. Weddings are fun but NOT relaxing. So if time and money permit, I think it's really nice to treat yourself after it's over!
Good luck and have fun!
From: Ellen | 2/27/09 at 4:01 pm
Hi there Grace!
Congratulations on your upcoming big day. I know you will just LOVE Savannah as your wedding location. I got married 4 months ago in late October and took our honeymoon the day after our party. I wanted our location to be a surprise so I had my new husband keep it that way - he did all the planning. We ended up driving to our final destination - Door County. It was lovely - a lot like New England and we had most of everything to ourselves. Because it was the off-season, Matt only made reservations for our first night - the rest of the time, we used our Garmin, his iPhone, and local tourist magazines to find new hotels or bed and breakfasts to stay at each night. That made it far more fun to explore, especially since we didn't HAVE to be anywhere specific each night.
I highly recommend driving to your final destination - enjoy the journey and the time to decompress. Stop at the weird roadside attractions and DEFINITELY take along a good camera!
Best wishes!
Ellen
From: shawna | 2/27/09 at 4:05 pm
You should go here:
http://www.rockwatersecretcoveresort.com/
It's amazing!
From: kelly | 2/27/09 at 4:55 pm
You might like:
San Ysidro Ranch in CA (where Jackie & Jack Kennedy honeymooned!)
Twin Farms in VT
Blackberry Farm in TN
From: Emily | 2/27/09 at 5:08 pm
We went the day after our wedding. I was so involved in my wedding planning that I wanted to get out of town right away. It was so special to spend the time with my new husband, I highly recommend it. It was wonderful to spend that week reflecting on the festivities and just being with each other. We went to Turtle in in Placencia, Belize. Which was like fancy camping in a cabin literally right on the beach, we absolutely loved it. http://www.blancaneaux.com/desk/
From: yvonnes | 2/27/09 at 5:23 pm
We waited a full 2 months after our wedding. It was worth the wait. We also totally changed from an energetic city honeymoon in Buenos Aires to the very low key and affordable village of Chacala in Mexico totally tucked away from civilization. It's the best decision we could have made for us. We had the time to decompress, focus on each other and reflect on our celebration.
From: Amy | 2/27/09 at 5:47 pm
We are doing a "mini-moon" right after the wedding (staying at a beach hotel in a nearby town for 3 days) and then going on our actual honeymoon a few months later.
From: coral | 2/27/09 at 5:48 pm
I seem to be your opposite - I live in Montana and honeymooned in New York.
If you end up at the Paws Up -which I've heard of but have never seen - you must, must take the drive up to Glacier Park. It might be fun to rent a car and have a road-trippy honeymoon, visiting some of the cute towns in MT and stopping for picnics and hikes.
I will warn you though, if you go in early May it could be wonderfully spring-like or there could just as easily be snow. In college I once moved out of my dorm room in May in a huge snowstorm!
From: tracyh | 2/27/09 at 7:05 pm
hi grace! sounds like you made your decision but i wanted to chime in too
we waited about 5 months after our wedding to go on our honeymoon (kauai = LOVE)). we waited mainly because we were so busy with wedding planning, i could not fathom having to plan yet another thing! my hubs and i were both so glad we waited because we could completely relax and fully appreciate being on our honeymoon. that being said, i hope you & aaron take a few days (or the next week) off after the wedding to just absorb everything wonderful that's happened, and it's great to have that time to yourselves afterwards. i only took a couple days off (friday wedding, back to work wednesday!) and wish i'd taken a couple more days off. but in hindsight, it wasn't a big deal 
congrats to you and aaron! i've been a longtime fan of d*s 
From: amanda | 2/27/09 at 8:23 pm
hi grace. i'm not married, so i can't give any suggestions as to whether or not you should wait, but, i live in southwest montana and i have a suggestion for your honey moon location. it's one of my favorite places to go when i want a quick trip out of town. it's called chico hotsprings. here's their website: http://www.chicohotsprings.com/ the hotsprings is SO relaxing! They have a really nice restaurant for a nice dinner and a nice day spa for extra relaxing! just a suggestion! : ) ...but, the pictures of the other montana location look fabulous... i might have to check it out for myself some time!
From: Amy | 2/27/09 at 8:42 pm
I love the idea of glamping. We didn't really do that, but we spent a LOT of time outdoors. We flew out the day after our wedding to Portland, Maine, and then took a ferry to Monhegan Island. Its the eastern most island in the US (or something like that). I think is 1.5 miles long by a half mile wide...There are no cars on the island, just a few lobstering trucks. We didn't realize that we would be the youngest people on the island, but we didn't mind. There are lots of artists that go there to paint/sketch/etc, we mostly hiked and photographed the island over the course of a week. (and played a lot of scrabble!) There were a few delicious restaurants we dined at for dinner - all were bring your own wine. We went to the small grocery and bought food for picnics each day. We stayed at a lovely b&b on the ocean that had a full kitchen, so we could have cooked if we wanted to. It was the perfect vacation. I bet Maine will be pretty chilly in the early summer, but we went in September, and got to experience almost every kind of weather, which was awesome. We liked leaving right after the wedding because we were so exhausted.
From: perfect bound | 2/27/09 at 9:43 pm
We had to cut our honeymoon plans a bit when I was suddenly laid off a month before our wedding. We still went as planned but we were very careful not to overspend on meals, shopping or sightseeing when we were abraod. With that said, a honeymoon is for indulging and relaxing. you can do that anywhere with the one you love!
Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing but looking ahead, I would say that perhaps it's better to indulge in a little luxury even if that means a well spend weekend as opposed to an entire week away. Bon Voyage!
From: elaina | 2/28/09 at 1:17 am
hey grace!
vancouver island is really beautiful, i'm sure clayoquot would be amazing.
here is another site i had been checking out which also looks fabulous. it's not exactly camping but they are hand hewn cabins:
http://www.duntonhotsprings.com/
From: Llubav | 2/28/09 at 11:21 am
dear Grace,
i love the place in Montana. it's beautiful and romantic and it feels like somewhere in Africa. honeymoons are to be spent in very special places and this one sure is. xoxo
From: Sondra | 2/28/09 at 2:06 pm
Just another Montana Vacation Site, Maybe a little more affordable.
This is in south central Montana and on the edge of Yellowstone National Park.
A natural Hot Springs that caters to folks who want to get away, No computer, no TV, and the only wifi is in the lobby. Great Spa and you can get up early and drive down the road a way to the 45th parallel and soak in the "Boiling" river.
Check it out, http://www.chicohotsprings.com
From: grace | 2/28/09 at 4:15 pm
update: we're going to paw's up!! we bit the bullet and decided it was worth postponing the trip a bit to have a truly magical honeymoon. so we'll be spending half our time in a rent tent and half in a small cabin (just in case it's too cold). thanks to everyone for their advice!
grace
From: jill dupre' | 2/28/09 at 5:19 pm
2 winners!!!
http://www.verana.com/ small Mexican hideaway-Totally awesome!!
http://www.elcapitancanyon.com/ near Santa Barbara. Luxury camping!!
From: Melissa | 2/28/09 at 7:10 pm
We waited about 3 weeks after our wedding to go on our honeymoon. We are both snowboarders and went on a snowboard honeymoon to Whistler/Blackcomb, BC, Canada. We got married Nov 9, but waited until Dec 3 to go on our trip to ensure there would be snow. I'm very glad we waited because getting ready for the wedding was so hectic that it was nice to have time in between to decompress and then refocus and have something wonderful to look forward to. You won't have to pack for your honeymoon at the same time you're worried about all the stuff that goes into getting ready for your big day. It really cut down on a lot of unnecessary stress for both of us!
From: Patricia | 3/1/09 at 3:23 pm
Hi Grace,
We left the day after our wedding and went to Hotel Villa del sol in Zihuatanejo, Mexico. It was mid-winter and all I wanted to do was lay on the beach. Ten days later and I was still happy on that same beach (it was 90 degrees and sunny every day, so that helped as well).
For our five year we went to Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur. (We were at my parents house outside SF and they watched the kids while we escaped for 2 days) I know the $ isn't necessarily on the less expensive side at the Post Ranch Inn, but EVERYTHING was included in the price (even the convertible Lexus we were able to test drive up and down the coast). The mini bar was full with goodies- all complimentary. I have been many places and the Post Ranch Inn was pure heaven. If you can still swing it, it is absolutely divine.
Regardless of when you go on your honeymoon, it will be special because it is YOUR honeymoon with the person who you said "I DO" to. Make sure you go somewhere special, that will mean a lot to both of you, because hopefully you will only have one honeymoon. (And lots of anniversary celebrations after.) Do what you love to do, and it won't matter when it is. It is up to you guys- if you have always imagined your honeymoon the day after- then that is when it should be. With this economy, cancellations happen. So just keep calling. If you don't care that it is one month after your wedding- then do it then.
From: Mary | 3/1/09 at 4:54 pm
Hi Grace,
I was reading this on design sponge:
I think anyone who lives in a city can agree that sometimes the most relaxing vacation is the one that politely forces you to disconnect from the rest of the world, and this spot looks dreamy.
I know the perfect place for you.
Very affordable, romantic, out of the way (you must take a ferry or small plane to get here)it's early in the season have the beach almost to yourself. rent a secluded beach cottage or stay at a luxury B&B. You'll find Friendly people here. It's the best place on earth to relax. It's so beautiful here Ocracoke Island was named the #1 beach in the USA.
Find out more here: http://www.Ocracokeweb.com
by the way, I'm a wedding photographer on the Island.
Congratulations and
Best wishes with all your plans!
Mary
From: Julie | 3/2/09 at 8:40 am
We stayed at our family cottage in Michigan for our honeymoon. HOWEVER, if you want upscale camping, I'd definitely recommend Maho Bay on the island of St. John. We've been over 1/2 dozen times in the last 20 years. You sleep in a 16x16' wall tent nestled into the side of a mountain overlooking the water. Staff is super friendly and the whole place is an eco-resort. No telephones or TV's. You go to sleep & wake up with the sunset/sunrise. It's so totally relaxing. And exploring the island is fantastic - beautiful beaches and lots of history.
From: kelly flamos | 3/3/09 at 9:01 am
Don't wait! Go on the honeymoon right away! We got married July 2008 (we're in the Real Simple Weddings 2009 issue - Kelly & Colin). We went to Nova Scotia for the honeymoon. We booked our honeymoon in May, about 2 months in advance. We drove from Ohio to Bar Harbor and took the ferry to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. We rented this house for 5 nights: http://www.saibeachhouse.com , then we traveled east to Cape Breton and stayed 2 nights at the Keltic Lodge and for our final two nights we stayed at the Trout Point Lodge (http://www.troutpoint.com) near Yarmouth. Trout Point is perfect for your idea of glamping...it's located in a UN-designated biosphere with canoes, a natural hot tub, fireplaces in the rooms, tons of trails, an onsite naturalist, and the best organic, locally sourced food ever!
From: kelly flamos | 3/3/09 at 9:04 am
sai beach house...new link:
http://www3.telus.net/rf3285
From: L | 4/4/09 at 1:54 am
We waited and then never followed through. It's a regret.