I recently came across a discussion posted on Dress a day, one that I thought you'd all be interested in reading. It's about wedding attire, specifically, what you should not wear to a wedding. As you all know, I wrote a few days ago about Susan Spungen's wedding at Blue Hill at Stone Farm; this response references that wedding, so here it is:
I feel like this battle will never be won by anyone. Just last weekend I attended my friend Susan's wedding, which was held during the day, outside, at a restaurant in Tarrytown, New York. I had planned to wear a very cute, ivory-colored dress that hit at the knee and had very little embellishment, until Deb Puchalla, editor of Everyday Food (our sister publication), told me that it is unacceptable to wear white to someone else's wedding. I decided to poll the office; overwhelmingly, everyone seemed to share Deb's sentiment. But I still wasn't satisfied.
I checked several etiquette books and found that the answer varies depending on whom you ask. Emily Post (17th edition) says white and black are fine to wear, but the fabric and cut of a white dress shouldn't be bridal at all. In the end, I think that any color goes. With weddings today, some rules can be seen as inspiration, allowing you to personalize and go with what you think feels right-whether you're the bride, groom, or guest. But remember there are many people who still frown upon wearing black or white, even red, though there's been no mention of red in the etiquette books I've looked in. They may give you looks, and you may become the talk of the town, but if you can handle the scrutiny, then go for it.
As for me, I wore the ivory dress I had planned to wear. I knew Susan was going to wear a long, ivory gown and veil, so I wasn't afraid I'd be confused for her; then again, I did joke with my husband that I might be bombarded by angry bloggers once I posted the photo of me in ivory. If people were talking about me, I don't know, but I had a great time, and I know Susan wasn't offended. And isn't that what really matters, anyway?
Here I am with Susan (center).